Divorce, Dating, Relationship Support

7 Things to Know Before Dating the Girl With a Soft Heart but an Anxious Mind

Reposted from: http://www.puckermob.com/moblog/7-things-to-know-before-dating-the-girl-with-a-soft-heart-but-an-anxious-mind
By Erica Alisse

To have a soft heart means that she has a big heart.
She’s full of compassion, empathy, and vulnerability. You’ll never find a girl who cares about you as deeply as she will.
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It can be hard to be a soft-hearted girl in this tough world.
This is especially true when her soft heart is deepened by an anxious mind. When the two are combined, her vulnerability makes her overly sensitive and restless. She worries more than she should, and she feels more intensely than most.
It may be hard at times, but she’s definitely worth it.
So, before you date this girl, here are a few things you should know:
1. She’s incredibly fragile. Little things feel monumental to her. Something that may seem petty or insignificant to you may mean the world to her. So please remember to be sensitive, and try to see her side of things.
2. She’s not very good at expressing how she feels. She may try to, but the words never seem to come out right. She’s so scared of hurting your feelings that she tends to hold back, and it often gets misinterpreted or misconstrued.
3. So before you overreact or get mad at her, remember what’s in her heart. Know that she would never ever intentionally do or say anything to hurt you, so please give her the benefit of the doubt before making assumptions.

4. To her, you’re her whole world. When a girl like that falls in love with you, she falls hard. It’s a genuine, life-altering kind of love. You can break her heart with a single comment or action if you aren’t careful.
5. She’s terrified you are going to leave at any moment. She knows she can be hard to deal with at times, and deep down she’s scared she isn’t worth your love. She needs you to remind her regularly how you feel.
6. She gets attached easily. She has a huge heart, and it doesn’t take much for her to let you in it. This goes for everyone and everything she encounters. Her heart bleeds for anyone struggling or hurting, and she’s likely to feel that pain as her own.
7. The worst thing you can do to her is make her feel neglected. She feels the hurt in every corner of her heart. Don’t ever yell or walk out on her, and above all, never give her the silent treatment or push her away. She will think you’re leaving for good, and it will break her heart in a way she may never fully recover from.
So please, if you do find this girl, take care of her precious heart. She is a rare jewel that you won’t be lucky enough to find twice.
Hold her tight and protect her from all the things in this world that might destroy it. Guard her heart with your own, and never ever let her go.

What It’s Really Like To Break Up With A Narcissist

reposted from: https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-27078/what-its-really-like-to-break-up-with-a-narcissist.html

What It’s Really Like To Break Up With A Narcissist

Annice Star

Photo: Stocksy

February 1, 2017

When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, everything is about him (or her—but for this article we’ll use “him” as an inclusive pronoun). It’s confusing and exhausting. One day you get it together to leave. You’re finally ready to take the steps required to make your life and energy revolve around you and your needs again. Hooray!
While this is an exciting time, and you are to be congratulated on moving in a positive direction, you also need to mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for the adjustment period right after your breakup, which is likely to present some challenges.
All breakups are difficult, but this type is often the hardest. You feel up, then down, over and over—it’s as much of a roller coaster as your relationship itself. Understanding the patterns you are likely to encounter can really help during the early months after a breakup with an emotionally manipulative person. Here’s a list of 10 common patterns plus ways to cope with each one:
1. Obsessing
Trying to have a relationship with a narcissist is nearly impossible, so you spent a lot of time analyzing his behavior and character to try and make sense of the curve balls he kept throwing you. After you leave your abusive relationship, this habitual pattern of analysis will continue until you force it to stop.
What works for me:
Whenever thoughts about what’s wrong with my ex arise, I remind myself that I am no longer concerned with him and force my mind to think about something else. I do this again and again. Most experts say it takes three months to change a habit.

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15 Things You Didn’t Know About Cheating

Reposted from: http://www.thetalko.com/15-things-you-didnt-know-about-cheating/?utm_source=TT-KWM-US&utm_medium=Content-Distribution&utm_campaign=TT-KWM&kwp_0=104368&kwp_4=503845&kwp_1=273898

Written by:   in Relationships

They say ‘once a cheater, always a cheater,’ but the truth is there are a lot of reasons people cheat on their significant other. Some people cheat once, and never do it again, while others are serial cheaters. One thing is for sure though– cheating damages relationships, a lot of the time beyond repair. So, why do people do it, even when they know the consequences? Some people have to learn the hard way.

Some argue that human beings aren’t built for monogamy, while others think that’s just an excuse to rationalize bad behavior. But unconventional arrangements like open relationships are on the rise, so maybe one day cheating won’t be the guaranteed relationship killer it has been in the past. For now, here are 15 things you might not have known about infidelity.

15. There are different kinds of love


According to science, there are three different kinds of love. Sex drive refers to how often a person wants sex, romantic love is what makes us direct all our attention towards one person, and attachment is about the level of security we feels towards someone that motivates us to stay with them long term. That means it’s possible for someone to feel romantic love for one person and still be sexually attracted to someone else. Just because someone cheats on their long term partner doesn’t mean they don’t still love them. Which makes motivations for cheating and the consequences of an affair a lot more complicated than you think it is.

14. Rock n’ roll fans are most likely to cheat

Not to make generalizations, but researchers in the UK  found that 41% of people who have cheated list rock music as their favorite genre. Coming in next was pop music at 16%, country music at 11%, classical music at 7%, and hip hop at 2%. Of course, that’s only one tiny aspect of someone’s personality, and it should be taken with a grain of salt. Unless they are the groupie type, music preference probably isn’t a solid indication of a cheater.

13. When a woman cheats, it’s more likely to end the relationship

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10 Signs You Have Perfect Sexual Chemistry

Reposted from: http://www.therichest.com/expensive-lifestyle/lifestyle/10-signs-you-have-perfect-sexual-chemistry/?view=all

Written by: Alex Keobke

10 Signs You Have Perfect Sexual Chemistry

It does not matter how amazing your mental connection may be with someone, your relationship may always feel incomplete if you are not sexually compatible. It is imperative that you know you have the ability to connect with your partner on every level that a healthy relationship requires, and that includes being able to grow sexually with them.

There is nothing wrong with having a high libido, low libido, being asexual or anything in between, but it can be unfair to your partner if your sexual preferences do not line up with their own. The more you connect with your long-term partner, the more you can hope that your sexual chemistry will grow over time. That being said, there still needs to be that physical attraction in your relationship or you’ll have fears that they are thinking the worst during moments of intimacy.

It is important to also know that it’s okay to not always know your preferences or what will make you sexually compatible with one person but not another. The best thing you can do is to be honest with yourself in what your desires are for a partner, and make sure that you do not spend time in an unhealthy relationship. If you are left in an unhealthy sexual dynamic for too long, you may start to feel like that is the expected pattern in a relationship and it can be damaging even after the relationship ends.

If the sexual chemistry with your current partner is strong, it may have been something that you picked up on within moments of your first date. It may have been made all the clearer by a passionate kiss that made you swoon. There may be many reasons as to why you think your partner is the bee’s knees in the bedroom, here are 10 of them.

10. You Can Laugh

I know it doesn’t look like it in the romance movies, but sexuality is not always going to be a smooth area of your life and can bring with it unexpected moments. As a result, one of the most important things to remember in regards to sexuality is that it is supposed to be something that is fun. You absolutely need to be safe, but you may find your perfect partner when you know you’re able to laugh at something ridiculous that may happen in the heat of the moment. Intimacy can sometimes lead to some involuntary noises, and knowing you can both relax goes a long way to ensuring excellent sexual chemistry.

9. You’re Physical Outside Of Bed

Sometimes the best foreplay takes place far away from the bed. A great sign of how compatible you are is how affectionate you can be in everyday life. Little gestures like hands on the small of your back, or cuddling close on the couch even if sex is not imminent can be a great way to make any physical actions a smoother transition, as well as make it a  comfortable extension of your relationship. Not to mention that if you are constantly physical, even in little ways, it will limit the chance that your relationship will feel more like roomates living together than a real relationship. Plus, if you feel awkward just touching your partner in everyday life, good luck once you get them naked!

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How It Feels To Really Like Someone But Know He Isn’t ‘The One’

Reposted from: http://elitedaily.com/dating/like-someone-not-the-one/1205370/

Written by: Sheena Sharma

the one

Screech. Bang. I was in the kitchen, a place I rarely frequent. I was helping cook dinner with the guy I was dating.

He’d assigned me the task of peeling garlic (which, it turns out, is deceptively difficult). I’d obliged. He’d kissed me on the cheek and left the room for a brief moment.

It hadn’t even crossed my mind that I’d ended up in the kitchen. But then it hit me (probably at the same time the pan did). What in God’s name was I doing in the kitchen? I don’t usually step foot in there.

In fact, I’ve never gone out of my way to whip up anything special for myself. The fact that I’d made the conscious decision to help someone else make a meal could mean only one thing: I liked him.

Sh*t. There was just one tiny problem with liking this guy — I wasn’t allowed to.

See, there was something about his life that wasn’t quite compatible with mine, and it was a deal-breaker. A fatal flaw, if you will. From the moment I got to know him, I knew he wouldn’t be my “forever”; he would just be my “for now.”

At that point, my apprehension was only a feeling — a sense that something wasn’t right. But I stayed even when I could have walked away. I didn’t have a reason to leave. The present was all that mattered; the future was hazy and distant.

One part in the game of love stings more than the rest. It stings more, even, than the breakup. It stings more than being single and crush-less.

Hell, it may even sting more than seeing an ex with a new girlfriend. It happens when you like someone a lot but know, deep down, that he isn’t The One.

It’s like having a diamond necklace taunt you through the glass of a store window. You’re so damn close to the real deal — that unexplainable, potentially mythical feeling you’ve been chasing your whole life. But you aren’t there yet.

It’s like a holiday romance: fun for the time being, but inherently not meant to last. Proceeding with caution, you calculate your every move until the end of the game, at which point someone will forfeit. And that person will be you.

After all, what kind of idea is “The One”? Is it even remotely credible? I thought I was just running around in the dark, hoping to find someone — anyone — who felt the same magnetic pull for me as I did for him.

And you have that with him, so you stay by his side. But it isn’t all that simple.

You find yourself justifying the romance.

Friends prod you incessantly about this. They wonder why you’re seeing him, what you’ve got to gain. And in a sense, they’re right.

But they also couldn’t be more wrong. All you’ve been thinking about is what you have to lose.

We’ve been taught that even the relationships that don’t work out are bound to teach us something. There’s always a lesson to be learned. Self-discovery doesn’t stop at the experiences that give us answers.

It appears even after we end the relationships that gave us more questions than answers.

I stayed in the romance, but I found myself unable to lose myself in the moment. This — losing myself — is something I hope to see in my “perfect” love story, which I have yet to find.

He becomes a list of tally marks.

You’re no longer dealing with a real person. He’s been reduced to a checklist of pros and cons, and a stalemate has been holding you hostage for a while.

There are as many right things about him as there are wrong ones. One side is never heavy enough to tip you into making an executive decision. Individually, his qualities can be redeeming. As a whole, he isn’t the perfect package.

You’ll tell your children about him one day, but he won’t be their father.

Time feels like it’s being wasted.

Guilty questions flood your mind. Am I wasting his time? What about my time? Or is this all just a learning experience, and it’s perfectly acceptable that it won’t turn into anything more? Must everything be a means to an end?

The question of whether you should invest your time elsewhere is relentless. Time has become the enemy; time drives you maniacal. You know your days with him are numbered.

When things eventually end, you’ll still be sad.

And you’ll surprise yourself with just how sad you’ll be. You slapped an expiration date onto him from the beginning because you knew it couldn’t be any other way.

The upper hand was yours, and when it’s over, you haven’t only lost him; you’ve lost your power. You had grown comfortably into a model that was designed with strict limitations of comfort.

It’s a loss worth mourning. Only after stepping outside of it are you able to realize that you were able to be your truest self with him. No expectations meant no pressure, and you miss that.

You ask yourself what you’re even looking for.

One day, you wake up and realize something: You got in too deep with him. And though you got yourself out, you can’t help but think you wrongfully pushed him away.

Because if he wasn’t The One, then who is? Am I kidding myself for thinking there’s someone out there who was tailored just for me?